bus rides and almost fevers

Part 1. Bus Rides

About a few days ago, I believe it was a Thursday, I had a weird feeling about catching the bus after work. I couldn't explain it, but it kept on bothering me. I had asked a friend if i could hitch, but he couldn't pick me up from work because he needs to drive his mum somewhere.

The number 42 bus came first so I got on that one. It was pretty crowded but I found a seat near the front. The first thing I noticed was there were two, big, scary-looking guys who look different. Different, meaning, not normal. No one knows what people who think different will do, but I just kept my cool. The traffic was pretty heavy that day and I'm very exhausted, so I just wanted peace and quiet until I get home.

The first ten minutes were ok, until this little FOB 10-ish year old Filipino boy started singing... Beyonce's "Irreplaceable"... Loud. Real LOUD. He didn't sing the whole song but when his player got to the chorus parts, he would just blurt out. After a few minutes, an older girl he was with started rapping in Tagalog and he sang along with her. The two FOB couple behind me who was with those kids started talking loud. The two fob couple behind the kids, who i believe is their aunt and prolly an older cousin, were just sitting there. The kids kept on what they're doing for 20 minutes. I kept giving them the look but I guess they're not smart enough to get that. I wanted to say something like, "Are you stupid that you can't understand the bus signs and announcements that you have to be quiet?" I decided against it and just looked at them and said, "You're too loud," in a very annoyed voice. They finally shut up. After I did that, I realized that I did it wrong. I should've scolded the adults instead of the kid. Anyway, when the couple behind me stood up to get off the bus, I said, loudly, "Finally!" But yeah, I still think they didn't get it.

After that incident, I noticed one of the scary-looking guys was staring at me. Creepy. He got off one stop before mine. Whew!

I caught my second bus which will take me to Kunia/Village Park. I sat in the back, just minding my own business. Then this rotund, white guy asked me if I was ok because he said he thought I was crying. I told him I'm fine. So he started talking story, asked me if I live around Village Park. And all of a sudden he told me he thinks I'm beautiful. I was surprised and weirded out so I just thanked him. After a few seconds of silence, he asked me if I lived alone or with my parents. So I replied, "No. I live with my boyfriend and my kid." He finally shut up.

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Part 2: Almost-fevers

Since Monday last week, I haven't been feeling well. Sometimes, I feel like throwing up or I take a dump every hour. This feeling in my hands which I usually get before having a fever is always there, but it never really went there. It's annoying since I don't have any reason to stay home and rest because it's not really there. And also, the new employees just started later last week and this Monday.

I slept when I got home today. I was just having a terrible headache. Now, I feel like I want to throw up, but I'm hungry at the same time. Blah

bambino!

the cable company just installed our modem last saturday and what joy it was to finally reconnect with the whole wide world through the world wide web. alyssa's finally happy cuz she can watch her disney shows. me... well, i can't still watch much tv cuz little sis or dad uses it. ah.. thank you so much laptop inventor! i can watch my shows herr!

i started watching "bambino!" the other day. jun matsumoto just calls me. haha. hana yori dango is still, by far, the best drama i've seen. anyways, bambino is about ban (matsujun), a college student who works as a cook in a small italian eatery in a small town, who was sent by his senior to tokyo to work in an upscale italian restaurant. basically, he's just finding himself and feeding his passion. i just finished the 4th episode.

hay.. i am watching my dramas again.. that means i'm trying to escape again..

self-preservation

i've been troubled for the longest time of how i feel. i kept denying that i'm in denial. haha. everyone thought it was so obvious, but i keep on saying that there's nothing more to it. it's just that.

two days ago, i had a revelation. i've dreamt of him. i will not go into details, just that it really made me realize how much inlove i am with him. he's all i think about and he's all i want. our situation is not that easy, because he's currently with someone else.

last night, i finally told him how i feel and just poured my heart out. he just apologized. we can't be together. it broke my heart... but i still can't stop loving him. at least i know where i stand.

i'm in so much pain, but i still smile and i feel light. maybe because what really burdened me was the fact that i wasn't honest of how i feel. or maybe it's just my mind trying to protect me from depression. just like having a tattoo, it would hurt a lot at first then all you'll feel is nothing. that's where i am now.

today is perfect...

...not!

i woke up around 11am today and i was soooooooo happy that i finally had time to sleep in. i was feeling a little creative (probably because i sleep in a room with rolls of fabric piled up next to me) and decided to help a little in auntie's shop. i finished two puletasis (poo'-le-tah-sees)before eating lunch and i decided to start princess' pulis (poo'-lees) cuz we have to mail it to seattle by tuesday. then i decided to check my mafia.

i went inside the parents' room, turned on the laptop and put down my phone beside me. while doing that, i was also thinking of what to do with princess' and fia's pulis, what time should i finish cuz baby sis and i are going to the park later today to play some volleyball, and go to band rehearsal after. so.. i was typing and just at the moment i looked at aly, who was playing with my phone, she dropped my fone in a full mug of (a not so) hot chocolate! i couldn't control myself and just started screaming at her. i feel sorry for screaming at her because it was an accident but i was so pissed off! i just bought my phone last march and now it's not working. that's 300 bucks down the drain. i tried blow drying it and what not, but it just doesn't work and it smells like chocolate.

i know, i know. you'll probably say, "it's just a phone. get over it." i'm not mad at baby sis, but it's very upsetting because i worked hard for the money i used to buy that phone and now it's gone. i grew up knowing that i should work for everything and not rely on someone else to get it for me. that's the reason i value what i have because i know what i did to get that. that's why i'm "attached" to what i have.

i had to leave the house because i don't want to scream at baby sis. i think it's better to do that because i might get irritated with her for even the tiniest little thing because i was in a really bad mood. and i don't want to make her feel worse than i already did. i told her that she's grounded for the rest of the day. she can't watch tv or play with the computer. i explained to her that she has to be very careful when she's using other people's stuff. i told her that i'm not mad at her, but she needs to realize that being careless with other people's things is not right and she has to learn her lesson.

right now, i'm at my friend's house and he's trying to fix my phone. i already called baby sis and just reminded her to keep their door open because their room is frigginly hot. i told her i love her.

i'm in a good mood again. pretty fast, huh? :] but i think i have to get a new phone just in case this one doesn't work. crud.

fight-oh... oh!

yep. i made a new one. :]

i have so many stories to tell, but i think it's better to wait. haha. catch up with ya later!

Love,
Tenten