Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Banana Muffins!

The sixth and last batch... for now :) It was a success! Thanks to my older sister and my cousin for the recipe.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

i wish i can write more here, but i don't want it to be a blog that's too depressing to read...

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

lightbulb moment.

yes, it took me two months to think about this. not gonna give details. just wait for it :)

Monday, July 26, 2010

JaNick: The Wedding (07.24.2010)

I wasn't too sure how to start this post. Until now, I still don't know what approach I'm gonna do, but I'm just gonna wing it because I fell that I have to write about this. Most of my posts are about me: sad me, happy me, angry me, crazy me. But tonight, I want to write about someone else.

These two people are very special. I haven't known them that long, but they have made such an impact in my life.

I've met Janice on my first Sunday in Hawaii. My family went to this small church near my aunt's house. My aunt introduced me to Janice, who was the praise team vocalist that time. She was the first person to talk to me and immediately I know that she's very genuine. She and her sister, Jennifer, are very friendly and very comfortable to be with. She always talked to the new girl and made me feel at home in this new church family that I'm going to be a part of.

Eventually, I had to take over as the vocalist since she had to start her internship in a hospital. Talk about God's perfect timing, huh? :) I saw less of her in church since she had to work on Sundays. One of the most awesome things about her, besides her loving purple, is that she really values the people around her. When she had a chance to go to church, she sometimes takes me out to lunch just to talk. (I owe her a lot of sushi!) Every now and then, I would update her with what's happening in the church and she would share her thoughts and ideas what we could do to help our church. She is a wonderful sister in Christ.

I met Nick a little later. Janice introduced him to me when they went to our church one Sunday. I thought he's pretty cool and smart as he was able to hold conversations with Jesse. Hey, that's talent! Haha. And a DJ dating a nurse, that's awesome!

I found out that they've been together since Janice's junior year in high school. For me, that's amazing how two people are able to stay faithful and just fall in love more and more with each other even when they started dating young. It's rare to find that kind of commitment in most younger couples today.

In September of 2008, I got an email from Janice. It's a youtube link. I clicked on it and there he was, in Ala Moana Center, kneeling down in front of her officially asking her to be his wife. Like I said, I haven't known them that long, but I probably watched that video five times that night and getting teary eyed with happiness. Ah... true love. :)

Last Saturday, a year and a half later after Nick proposed, in front of their friends and family,
they vowed to love each other forever.

~ it was a lovely, sunny day ~

~ Nick is super excited! ~

~ Gorgeous Jen, sis of the bride ~

~~ The lovely bride trying to hold back the tears
:) ~~

~~ The Kiss ~~

~ Sand ~

~~ Entrance to the reception hall ~~

It was such a beautiful wedding and I can't come up with words to describe it. I'll just let my photos tell you how it is. BTW, I wasn't able to take pics during the reception. I was having a special moment with my tako poke, mantau and peking duck, spinach and lettuce ceasar salad and prime rib. :)

Janice and Nick,
Thank you for letting me be a part of your special day. I know God will bless your marriage because both of you are in His will. Just remember to fall in love more with each other. I know you both will still have your Just Dance moves and I hope you will continue to play
that Wii game even if you're 85 and old and wrinkly :) You are such a good model for couples and I pray that God will give me the same happiness that you have found with each other.

I love you!

Friday, July 9, 2010


i've been having mild chest pains recently while i'm at work. it might be psychological, but still... i've been working for about 9.5 hours average daily for the past few months and i still can't seem to finish everything.

i really need to have my eyes checked. i can't even read stuff about 6 feet away from me. or recognize faces about 5 feet away when i'm not wearing my glasses.

every moment i can, i pray to God that He will help me stay positive. it's really hard to be grateful when you're stressed. but i try my best...

Monday, July 5, 2010


I wanted to write this last night, but I was beat up from the activities earlier that day and I did not have enough strength to force myself to turn on the laptop. Thoughts came a little before midnight and I was crying silently while wiping my drool. It still bothered me this afternoon, but Jesse talked to me and I started to feel better. I probably won't be crying tonight but the feeling still lingers.

After high school, I enrolled in a six-month gig supposedly to learn about designing and such. Didn't really learn anything from that, but it did strengthen my love for fashion design. I started editing my ukay clothes by cutting, sewing, slashing, deconstructing, etc. Why not try experiment with a 5-peso top? Haha. By 2006, I enrolled in the UPD as a Clothing Technology major. I was in love! I had so much fun and stress that I couldn't think of anything else but drawing and sewing... oh, and food, too. After three semesters, I had to apply for an honorable dismissal because I would leave the country. I wasn't able to finish my sophomore year.

Since I still had a few months left in the motherland, I decided to do a part-time gig as an in-house stylist for a local store of this really awesome, super nice lady. I was hired as a part-time employee to paint, embellish, deconstruct, reconstruct, etc. clothes. My actual schedule was Mondays to Fridays, 2-6 pm. This job was the most awesome job I had so far and I enjoyed it too much that I come before the mall opens and stay there until 6. I loved what I was doing and I loved the people I worked with. Then came January and I had to say goodbye to those wonderful people because I was really leaving the country.

Before coming here, I had dreams of making it big as a designer here in the islands. My aunt owns a small Polynesian clothing shop and I thought I could start from there. We stayed with her for 2 years and I helped cut, sew and design both Poly and modern clothes. I went to school to get my Associate's Degree and majored in Business Admin since I would use it when I start my own biz. I graduated, with honors :], and I thought I was ready to start the life that I want.

Reality hit me. I can't afford to study again immediately and I had to work to help with my fam's finances since we moved to a place of our own. I'm currently working for a distributor company for a year and a half now. I still want to go back to school and work with clothing, but I started to get scared.

I fear that if I go back to school, it would cause money problems for my family. I fear that I won't be able to keep up with my studies. i fear that studying will keep me from being able to provide for myself.

I'm not sure if I still have it. For this past year, I haven't done much of what I really want to do. Office work really drains me out that I don't even want to think when I get home. I just want to lie down on my futon and go online since it doesn't require me to think. I do have a few sketches, but I don't feel proud about my work now. Doubt came over me. I don't entirely trust my taste and skills anymore. I haven't used a sewing machine for over a year. The thought of being a 23-year-old freshie makes me feel left out. My batch mates in the PI had been working with fashion right after graduating and some of them actually opened their own (online) stores, but I haven't done anything close to that.

I'm scared to take risks. I'm not as brave as I was before. I no longer have the courage to sacrifice one thing that currently makes life a little comfortable in order to do something else that would make me feel good about myself, even if I won't be having that same income. It's sad that I'm starting to think of giving in to a mediocre life with a mediocre job that I don't want just to get by with life.

Self-pity sucks.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

trial pics - faces


again, i don't have photoshop so i couldn't edit the photos. the only i can do is adjust the contrast in microsoft photo editor.

trial photos - random stuff

random stuff around :]

i don't have photoshop so i wasn't able to edit the colors. i only did some contrast adjustments to some. i don't really remember which photos i did it on. haha

Thursday, July 1, 2010

end of month entry

I suck at maintaining a blog. Or maybe I'm just a really boring person. Or maybe I'm just a really lazy person. Haha.

My last entry was my birthday wish list. I actually got the stuff I want... PILLOWS!!!!!! Jesse gave a body pillow with a plush cover and Phoebe gave me Boink, a piggy pillow with bead cushions inside. Somehow, I manage to use all my five pillows at the same time. :] Auntie Linda, Jesse's mom, bought me purple towels. BEST GIFTS EVER!!!!!

This is Boink :]

I also didn't forget to give myself a gift. I finally convinced myself, after long rationalizations and with Jesse's encouragement, to buy myself a good camera. After five years of waiting, I have something I need. Sige na nga, "want" na nga. I haven't named my baby, yet. I haven't actually played with it much, either :( Just tested out the pre-set settings (tama ba yun?). Took pictures of my dad cutting mum's hair, mum looking scared because she felt like it was too short, and Aly with her kulet face. This weekend, I plan to take pictures of our neighborhood so Ate can finally see what our place looks like. I'm still scared to bring the camera to the beach. It's hard to body board with a DSLR on your neck kasi. Haha.

I'm learning how to body board. We went to Bellows AFB three Saturdays ago and I was able to catch a few waves. Bellows is a good "learning" beach. No need to swim out far. We just had to stand about 30 feet from the shore and catch waves from there. Aly was able to catch a few waves herself. She's having a bit harder time because the body board is too big for her. I was planning to take videos of Aly, but I fell asleep. ;D

Can't wait for the three-day weekend! Woo!

Sunday, June 6, 2010

my 23rd birthday wishlist :]

6 more days!

normal stuff (ones that i really need but not my priority buys. LOL)

1) PILLOWS - good, fluffy ones.
2) TOWELS - purple, please! haha
3) BEDSHEETS - with pillow covers! plain ones would be awesome.
4) LARGE PLASTIC DRAWERS - yeah.. my old ones are bent :(
5) SPORTS SOCKS - coz i have to play volleyball
6) "RENT" DVD - i can't find mine. boohoo
7) SLIPPERS - regular slippers. i want the gold one from Old Navy or the soft one from Sports Authority haha
8) BATH/SHOWER SOAP - i like "bodycology" from wal-mart. about 4 bucks each.
9) PAJAMAS - i love sleep clothes!

ridiculous! (things that i can't do without, but would be nice to have. :] )

1) BAG - from betseyville, betsey johnson, or patricia field
2) SPA - full body massage. foot spa. a facial treatment. waxing. haha
5) HAIRCUT - a really nice one. no Supercuts and Fantastic Sams!
6) LAPTOP FIX - bleh. my laptop screen is getting worse :(
7) WACOM - heehee.
8) CONTACT LENSES/GLASSES - this one i do need. but it's just too expensive!

just for fun. it's my birthday anyway. haha

Friday, June 4, 2010

hello again, blogworld!

Half a year passed since my last post. A lot of things had happened and that's the real reason I don't blog. Things are happening at the moment and there was no time to go here and write about it. Maybe my real dilemma is figuring out what events are interesting enough to keep you reading. Yes, you, my dear reader who I truly admire because of your patience.

Like I've said, a lot of things happened while I was away from blogging. Maybe I should just do a "top ten" list (in no particular order):

1) I made a year at my job. It's not my dream job, but it does pay the bills. Even if there are stress factors that make me want to pull my hair, I still find the self-fulfillment of sucking up a lot of bull and do a good job. :]

2) Watches "Glee", "How I Met Your Mother", "The Big Bang Theory", and a few more shows. It's so nice to have an inexpensive, "me" time. :]

3) I paid off my PayPal credit card. My budget is balanced. Whew!

4) Something bad happened to our church, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. People stepped up to the plate. I felt closer to the other members. Our pianist and guitarist now sings, too! Hooray!

5) I learned how to make molten lava cake. Yeah. Haha.

6) The love for anime was revived. I'm not sure if that's a good thing, but it's another way of bonding with him.

7) I kept in touch with friends from here and the PI. Even if we're miles apart, I'm still sort of up to date with what's happening down there. Thank you, Facebook! And my college friends here, we somehow find time for each other. I believe this is a really important thing.

8) Met new people and thankful how they affected my life positively.

9) Fell in love with my family more.

10) I'm now in a relationship and I'm truly joyful. We may not always be happy, but we learned how to appreciate the little things that we do for each other and learn how to forgive. And to keep our mouth shut when needed to avoid arguments that don't make sense.

These are my ultimate highs. Yes, some of them may be too simple. But when you learn to appreciate the little things in life, that's what makes life more wonderful. :]